Last January I turned 30, and this important event was joined with a celebratory hallmark of my gender expression. In the winter, Glitter Grandpa was born. Glitter Grandpa is both my brand as well as a part of my identity, born of a mashing of aesthetic goals — Richard Simmons meets Mr. Rogers. As I ventured into the world of sewing for money, I took with me this moniker as a source of inspiration to further explore the bounds of gender.
After this birth of sorts, I spent the remainder of 2018 seeking out ways to reclaim pride in my gender non-conformity through sewing. This should come as no surprise — as someone assigned female at birth who is drawn to glitter and traditionally feminine textures and silhouettes, but who is also most affirmed by he/him pronouns, I struggle refuse to place myself in a sphere of strictly men’s or women’s fashion.
Menswear patterns appeal to me because they afford me the greater likelihood of having others address me as I see myself, but the shape and cut of many menswear patterns are not made for a body like mine, and require significant alteration to fit. This is sometimes a painful reminder that my body is different.
When I lean on familiar women’s patterns because I can count on them to fit my body better, it comes with the added risk of being misgendered more frequently because my curves are accentuated. I spent the last year back and forth and somewhere in between: I tailored ginger jeans (a women’s jean pattern) to the silhouette and cut that I wanted. I made a full-body swimsuit for myself. Even though I’ve had top surgery and could go to the pool without a top, I feel more comfortable this way.
I tested strategies for making boxers with liners and gender-neutral boxers for bodies of a variety of shapes and configurations.
I applied feminine textures to traditionally masculine silhouettes, among many other things.
Men’s button-up pattern altered to add a detachable embellished collar:
It hasn’t always been easy, and at times it has been dysphoria-inducing.
For Pride this summer, I stitched a glorious shimmering leotard (from a men’s wrestling singlet pattern) and paired it with freshly dyed purple and blue hair. Several days later, all the effort I had put into growing my hair out finally paid off and I was able to get my multi-colored locks French braided. Not long after I succumbed to the weight of dysphoria from frequent mis-gendering due to my long effeminate hairstyle paired with my gender-bending attire. I shaved my head in a moment of desperation.
French braided!The Pride outfit!
No hairs
On New Years Eve, just a few short weeks ago, my mom and I gave ourselves manicures. I tested a Pinterest ombre tutorial and, to my surprise, succeeded with the technique. When I flew back home after the holidays, I curled my fingers into my palm to hide my manicure from the lay public such as TSA, food service employees, etc., lest they be tempted to doubt my pronouns. During one of these instances I was standing in the TSA line at a tiny regional airport in central Missouri. I was sporting a rather in-your-face Pride shirt, self-sewn leggings, along with my new manicure, and once again attempted to hide it until the older woman behind me complimented me on it. She asked me how I did it and so I explained. In doing so, she shared with me that her kindergarten aged grandsons were sporting nail polish to school, and one of them got his dream gift for Christmas, a Barbie house. She ended the conversation with something like this: “I’m so glad that we live in a time when people can just be their true selves.” While I know this isn’t always true, I was so grateful to know that someone saw me living as my true self.
Pattern makers should take into consideration that those like myself who want to wear garments deemed one way or the other may not have the body shape or even body parts that one would assume go with such garments.
As it pertains to pattern-making, there is so much room in the field to blur the lines between what is construed as “men’s” and “women’s” clothing — giving many folks more space to sew for their true selves. Pattern makers should take into consideration that those like myself who want to wear garments deemed one way or the other may not have the body shape or even body parts that one would assume go with such garments. While it may seem difficult, it is possible. A sewing mentor of mine and sewing business owner has done just this with an underwear pattern and drafting guide that works for people with vaginas as well as people with penises. I can only imagine the world that would open up for many sewists, even those who don’t consider themselves gender non-conforming, should the field of pattern-making take a cue from a little gender bending.
Note: Sewcialists is a hyper-inclusive editorial site. We recognize that “Menswear” as we use it in our theme month is a very loaded term, and we use any gendered reference in these discussions to denote the most broadly accepted “traditional” categories only, without wishing to prescribe or proscribe what any person can wear. We recognize all gender identities and the choice to dress how one pleases.
Noah Riley is a health educator by day, subversive stitcher by night. Queer, transmasculine, non-binary glitter prince 24/7. He’s been sewing since he was a kid, albeit only seriously in the past few years. Since coming out as trans and adjusting his gender expression to fit his gender identity, he found the availability of commercially available clothing that fit his body had decreased significantly. Noah created Glitter Grandpa to both fill the gap he found and to share with the queer community.
Such a great post. Thank you for sharing, Glitter Grandpa! <3 <3 I love your style!
Thank you for this wonderful post. And thank you for being your authentic self!
Glitter Grandpa, your post and your sewing as an expression of your true self, is absolutely AMAZING! Thank you for sharing this.
Glitter Grandpa, thank you for sharing your story. I absolutely love how you have reaffirmed you through sewing and creativity.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I hope that pattern companies and people in general can learn a little from what you’ve shared.
Hi Noah great post, thanks for educating those of us that struggle to understand your situation. Many moons ago when I was a theatre nurse at a kid’s hospital here in Australia, I regularly scrubbed for orchidopexies for undescended testes. A necessary op because testes held in the abdomen become too hot which can lead to sterility or cancer.. It was almost the norm to find ovaries in the abdomen of those same children when we searched. I have always been of the opinion that gender is a continuum. So happy you have located your bit of that line. Mwah luv x
Great post,thank-you for sharing. It really helps broaden my understanding ,I have seen and heard vile cruel things,and I am so pleased the world is gradually changing to embrace diversity and that I can confidently challenge where it’s slow to change.It takes enormous courage to do this, and I applaud and admire you for your daily effort.
Love your style! Thankyou so much for sharing. Long may you shine! It brings me such joy to see people celebrating their true selves. Gives me hope for our future. Thankyou
This was a touching read and I’m so glad you’re having a few good experiences in with the bad. I wonder if some of the 90s or 80s suit patterns aimed at women would work better for gender-bending looks—they’re certainly less curve-hugging and more skimming than the 70s or modern women’s jacket patterns…. I really appreciate hearing about this because, as a highly gender conforming person myself, I don’t always remember to think about it on my own. Thank you, and good luck in your journey!
Great idea- I haven’t thought of this!
Great idea, I’ll have to dig around for some patterns! – Glitter Grandpa
I grew up in downtown Vancouver, Canada in a area where being gay was completely normal. The closest hospital was at the time the only hospital in western Canada doing sexual reassignment surgery, so I was used to that as well. My first grown up job is at the intersection where the first permanent rainbow cross walk in Canada is now located. However, I am ashamed to say that even with all my experience, I am/was/whatever unaware of the range or spectrum of sexual identity until recently. Many thanks to you and other people brave enough to write publicly about your lives. It helps us all to understand. Great post. Thank you again.
PS-we need new pronouns.
Hi Elle! i’m Canadian too, so I thought I’d jump in with a Canadian resource on the wide range of pronouns that people can choose for themselves! As an elementary teacher, I find “they” is the most common one that I run across, but it’s good to know about all the other options. http://www.the519.org/education-training/training-resources/trans-inclusion-matters/creating-authentic-spaces/gender-specific-and-gender-neutral-pronouns
Thank you, I appreciate the link. I know about the use of them and they for people who identify outside the norm (whatever that is), but those terms also indicate plural, so are inaccurate. Language is a tool and we need it to keep up with our needs. Not being a linguist, I don’t have the answer.
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Noah, thanks for sharing your story. Folks like me – a straight, cis-gendered woman – need to hear your perspective. Please keep sharing your experiences! I’m so glad you’re able to explore your personal expression and creativity through sewing.
Wonderful article Noah!! Love seeing you evolve into who you are..
Thank you for sharing . Really good to read. Love the Glitter Grandpa name.
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Thanks for sharing, I think pattern makers in general can learn a lot from your experience. Regardless of gender, many bodies and personal tastes do not conform to stereotypes for all sorts of reasons. It’s one of the reasons I prefer to see line drawings of garments. It gives you a blank slate on which to create. Why do patterns need to be gendered at all? They should be sized (and modifiable) by body measurements only.